Need help with my daughter's issues at Disney and on a plane.

[AlternateEgo]

As I have stated before, we are planning a trip to Disney in the fall 2010.

I have a year to plan, but I have had a small issue hanging over my head and I really need to get some assistance.

My youngest daughter has a developmental delay. Her speech and understanding isn't at a 4 year olds level. She hasn't been diagnosed as autistic (which a lot of people ask me). The only thing she has been diagnosed as, is "low muscle tone" - very late talker, crawler, walker, etc...

She gets very scared when we see costumed characters (Chuck E Cheese)and even Santa. In the past, she was okay with face characters (Cinderella & Price Charming). I know that this could possibly cause tantrums, bringing her to Disney World, but I am pretty sure for the most part we can avoid Character dining and getting in lines to meet them, besides the face characters.

She doesn't like rides at all. She likes to watch them and will wait on the side for her sisters to ride, but she just doesn't like it. I have not tried to take her on a ride with me, as the last experience was at a local fair. Even the rides at Walmart (horse, dumbo, etc.) she doesn't like and wants off immediately.

All of these things can be controlled while we are at Disney with minimal tantrums... but the one thing I am most concerned about... is taking her on a plane.

Is this something I shouldn't even consider. She is very good in the car, but I am afraid that the motion of the plane with upset her. I have even considered asking her doctor about prescribing a medication (how horrible am i?).

And on an even worse note, I have considered leaving her at home with my mother and taking the older girls... but I don't know if my guilt would even let me enjoy that kinda trip.

She is such a calm and loving girl. i know this makes her out to sounds like a brat, but she is really a good kid. She just has certain sensitivities and with her speech slowly coming along, she sometimes has a hard time telling me how she feels and what can make it better.

Thanks for any information...

[SunshineGirl]

I don't have any experience with anything similar, so I can't give much advice. I'm sure that we have other members that will actually be able to post something helpful. But I just want to say that you do NOT make her sound like a brat. Every child is different and responds differently to different things.

The other thing is that you should not feel guilty no matter what you decide to do. If you talk to your doctor and it just doesn't seem possible to take her on the plane without traumatizing her, don't feel badly about taking the other kids. There's nothing to say you won't be able to take her in 2 or 3 years when she is more ready for it and can enjoy it.

You're asking all the right questions. I'm sure you will come up with a solution that you feel good about when the time comes.

[spring]

I teared up when I read your post. You are such a good mother and it's evident you love your "special" little girl with all your heart. I think it is wonderful that you are willing to go to so much trouble to adapt circumstances so your daughter can enjoy herself. I'm assuming she's never been on a plane before. I really think you should talk to her doctor and decide how to approach this. You are NOT a horrible mother for thinking that some kind of sedation might be a possibility. You are only thinking about what would be best for your daughter and how not to traumatize her. I think you should be very honest about all your concerns and fears with her doctor and see if you can both come up with a workable solution. Good luck!

[bbangel]

I know that some parents prepare their children for rides by showing videos of them. I'm thinking maybe trying to somehow simulate some of the conditions in an airplace to see how she does. That will make it less of the "unkown scary" when you go. And will also tell you whether she can handle it before you are on the plane. Our local science centre has a small flight simulator in one of the exploration areas. Maybe try to find something like that?

[m 'n c]

My mom would semi-drug us when we were little to fly so I don't think there is anything wrong with it. She would just give us dimeatapp to help with the ear popping and that would put us to sleep for a while. You might could consider that. I'm still nervous to fly and I'm way past the age of your daughter so I can't judge anyone when it comes to flying.

As far as rides go, YouTube is a great source for seeing what the Disney rides are like. You might be able to start showing her them now and see what she thinks.

[iluvamystery89]

this may sound terrible, but could she be given a very small dose of benedryl or dramamine? i ask because my aunt used to suffer from horrible motion sickness when she flew, so she would take dramamine about 30 minutes or so before takeoff and sleep the entire flight. it made the flight much more pleasant for her-no nausea or vomiting and she got a great nap. i know some don't like to give medications to children at all unless they're very ill, and i don't mean to offend. if i did so, i'm sorry. this is the first thing that came to mind. i pray you find a solution and have a great trip

[3dog2kidmom]

I know you said you'd feel too guilty, but think about how much she would really enjoy the trip. If the answer is not much, then she might have much more fun staying with a relative and allowing you to focus on your other children. Your older girls would likely love to have you all to themselves. I do invididual things with my children all the time, and I wouldn't see that as being any different. You can do something special with your youngest daughter at another time that isn't so stressful for her. Just another point of view.

[askomsky]

You are not a bad mom, your a WONDERFUL mom for thinking about this so early. If you didn't want whats best you wouldn't be trying to prepare a year in advance.

I don't have any specific advice other then I know 2 good friends who's children have sensory issues and they've learned what works and what doesn't. I think talking to your dr. and trying her on things similar will help you reach a decision that's best for YOU and YOUR family.

[sqromano]

You are so good for planning ahead! I am a therapist with many years of working with children with similar issues. You could always try developing a social story. This is a way to personalize a story for her that will basically spell out clearly with pictures the steps that will make the trip a happy one. It seems simple, but the repetition and the visual aspect are wonderful. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

[AlternateEgo]

Awww thanks guys, you have really made me feel better.

I really think she would have a great time at Disney, I feel like her developement is at a early 3 year olds level and I know there are plenty of people that bring their 3 year olds to Disney. As a matter of fact, last time we went the girls were 2, 3, & 5. But even then, the older girls loved going to Crystal Palace and Chef Mickey's.

And as one of you mentioned, this would be all three of thems first plane trip. Last time we drove... 18 hours in the car, being the only driver... not fun at all!

We have been talking about planes. She is very interested in what is going on in the sky. She tells me "Moon...Circle." And "Plane... Scary." I don't have a clue why she says scary. I know my mom talked to her about Mommy's on a plane, so Im not sure if she said something to her about it being scary... She didn't know I had thought of taking them on a plane next September either.

I think that some sort of medication as a back up plan wouldn't be a bad idea.

My mother suggested taking her to the local "county" airport and letting her watch the planes take off, land, and possibly take on board, but with security I am not sure what they would allow. She told me to purchase a ticket and fly to St. Louis (I'm glad she thinks its ok to buy tickets for no reason, lol)

Keeley made a plane out of Legos the other day. It was very cute and she was flying it everywhere. I also bought her a Fisher Price Airplane from TRU the other day and she has enjoyed playing with it.

I think the book is a great idea. I am assuming its just a book that I would make, showing her what to expect??

You know I almost feel like I can prepare her, but then I get feelings that it would backlash on me.

Characters: She doesn't watch a lot of TV, but I do try to get her to watch Mickey, so she can get used to him. Of course she loves her Mickey tie dye shirt we made, and she tells everyone "Mouse." I suppose the frightening factor could be that you see Mickey on such a small scale and in real life Mickey is as tall as Mommy.

I am sure I will see what level she is at with this on during Halloween.

I will take all of your advice to heart and I think I may post this in the Disabilities section on the Dis. You know, I have never felt like I needed to label her with a disability or being special, I feel one day she will get past is all. We all have our sensitivities, right? I'm probably a little over protective of her, but she is my baby.